Sleepless

It's those sleepless nights again.
Where you just lie awake on your bed.
Thinking of a thousand ways to get yourself to sleep.
But you just couldn't.
You wait for sleep to come, in vain as your eyes are wide and open.
still blinking, staring into the darkness seeing those shy lights that are peeking through the window.

Ahh. another day, another time wasted just because of sleep.
I would happily take out my box of nicotine, but I just could not.
It would clash and break my own vows.
But then again, I already have broken my vows before.
And what will be the difference then?

Outdoors, stuck with the family.
I think, of a number of ways of how I can get away from them.
Just for a quick smoke. To feel the rush of the nicotine in my throat, that goes through my lungs and out.
A rush that would finally reach my head, resulting dizziness as its aftermath.
Bad. This is bad.

This is going to be tough.
I wish I can hold on tight.

Oh sleep, please end my waiting.
As I do deserve my rest.
My eyes are still not shut, and i wish for it to be, shut ;- resting, not blinking, not staring, not tearing.
Oh sleep, sleep, sleep, do come.