"Sometimes, I look in the mirror and I remain puzzled of who I am looking at. A monster or a purer side of me. And yet, there are still people who loves me for who I am. Can you believe that?"
You see, there were times this week where I just wanted to run off and ask some random stranger a cig, but I didn't do so. Why? I certainly haven't any ideas. I feel like that crazy girl in that mental hospital; in a fetus position, rocking back and forth, eyes staring a thousand yards away; It's my 5th day, free of that bag of toxic. But these 5 days have been torture. I might as well be forked by Satan in Hell, but then, I wouldn't. It seems that I just have to keep myself busy. And of course I would reward myself with a cig, for this all given effort. Once I get some cash with me.
Oh, the desperation. But then again, there is that little thing in us that says "I miss the pain that I felt before."
What a masochist you are Mia. Congratulations.
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