It's already 9.40 in the morning. We didn't come in late to work as we have been doing for the past few days. When I was on the bus, I kept thinking of how my friend's lives are right now. probably way better than mine I guess. I'm 17, fresh out from school, no diploma what-so-ever to start with, and yet i'm working my ass off everyday just to get my own resource of money. How pathetic. Striving to live. I envy my friends so much. They have opportunities which I wouldn't let go, but they ignore such opportunities as those. It's such a waste. I envy their happyness. Their bond with their parents. Trying to bond with my parents would be impossible. Boyfriends, sex-ed and voicing out are always off topics for them. They like the idea of being the superior ones. The ones who ought to be respected and given respect.
I wonder about how I'm going to turn up when I'm old and wrinkled. Will I have grand children of my own runnin garound on the garden that I have worked up on my own? Or would I end up being the old woman with 27 cats? I'm turning 18, and not every 18 year old behave like a 30 year old ADULT. Yes, I am fond of being mature in certain situations, but that doesnt mean I am mature. I'm eight-teen. Teen. I'm still a teen. Who's reckless and irresponsible still. I'm trying to grow up, trying my hardest to be mature at things, but sometimes I just can't. I don't dare voice out my ideas, telling everyone what my plans are, like i'm doing some presentation on a meeting. I know my plans would scramble right in front of me, mocking me endlessly.
1 Monsters backstash:
jemput berahi di tulisan saya. =D
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