there are limits. and this is just three-forth of it.

For all of my life, i've never felt this before. It's a feeling of emptyness, lonelyness and heartbroken all at once. Pounding my chest like those feelings are about to explode out of my body.

FIGHTS ARE ABSOLUTELY STUPID.
I do not see a reason beyond that rather than, jealousy, hate and anger all in one.
Moon and Niq are acting like mindless beings, as if they are just mere children. They call each other names, mock and grudge at each other. and unfortunately for me, I had to witness all these irrational beings. I had to witness their fight. Damning each other's life just to make it worse and just to please their pathetic angry emotions. They're turning 18 soon, and so am I, so, aren't they suppose to handle this whole "misunderstanding" wisely and maturely? I hear Moon's pain and I hear Niq's pain, clearly they're both in pain, so why not just sit down and talk about their feelings. talk about what they're not happy with. talk about that great deal of friendship that was lost in this fight. but NOOOOOO... they're ego's took over them and continued this pointless, childish misunderstanding. They plan their sad little plan and hope for the other to be damned. They both keep involving other people and use those people against them. I am only the witness but I am their friend too. A close friend, in detail. And I am not liking this one bit. Cooperation is what they don't have and what they mostly need in this kind of problem. These kinds of things can be resolved easily with that. But when the other gives cooperation and the other just bitches about it, then it's nothing but a wasted effort. And feeling magestic over bitching to that cooperation is beyond bad. It's horrible. When will these two get into their senses. I feel like hitting them in the head and just give them a piece of my mind. That'll surely shock them. Niq's planning to report to the police about their fucked up fight, and whats next? Moon getting arrested?

When finally the wiser side declares their retreat, the egoistic one would step on them as much as she want. How irrelevant this thing is!



And to my ex;-
is it really necessary to tell me that you wished you never met me before? as if it was inevitable to do so. Just live your life for god's sake and stop telling me how much you've regretted to ever have me as a part of your life. I know you loved me dearly but sometimes when some things are over, it's over. Fate will find it's way to glue us together if we really are meant for each other. You live a dangerous life. perhaps too dangerous and I could not bare the repulsive pain of loosing you forever. And you. all you care about is me. you think of me too much. I'm flattered that you do but i think you might want to remember that we are mere friends now. But does that mean deleting me in your myspace too? I don't understand. DO YOU HATE ME or something? i don't get it. If you do, then why do you care about me so much. and if you don't hate me, then why do you tell me those things that you know i wouldn't want to hear. I am so sick of those moderately pathetic phrases. "if you die, give your baby pics to moon."? DAMN! can you even make sense of what you're doing? Don't you know whats right or wrong? whats dangerous and safe? And thanks a lot for pretty much making me feel horrible about myself. For making me think that I am not good enough. For making me create this very stupid feeling that's like a ticking bomb. Sometimes I even have to try to breath to subside this thing that I feel. This sadistic feeling.