Departure.

It, is like a mixture of shame and anger and sadness all round up in one big ball.

Forming inside of you, waiting to break down.

Waiting to explode. And the explosions shall be big, epic & loud.

 

**But she’s gone. I knew she was going to go anytime soon, but, she’s really gone.

 

I broke down. My bird in my palms. Breathless. Lifeless. Dead.

Tears never stopped flowing down cheeks. I paused only to gulp in air which I had suppressed too long. I wasn’t seeing right.

 

**This is too real. Too much.

 

I was shaking. With fear and disbelief. Trembling as I passed Anna to my sister.

I couldn’t think. I was stuck.

I wept. Wept. & Moaned as I can.

I looked at her, lying on the palms of my sister.

 

**This was what I was afraid of. This is what I have been running from. Death finally caught up with me & won.

 

There she was again, back in my palms. And I was kissing her, from beak to her crown, to her lifeless body murmuring things that I should have told her before she departed.

 

She had been a good little girl.

A good sister.

A good guardian.

And it’s time for her to take her rest.

To come back into God’s little garden.

 

**I never loved a pet as much as I loved AnnaBella. She’s part of my life & I wish for to stay in it. And so she will.

 

We made her her own mini coffin, homemade.

We wrapped her in white clothings, placed cotton pads as her rest bed & placed a not upon her coffin.

I can tell Dad was heartbroken. He never really spoke.

Not much reaction. Anna was his best friend.

I cried till I couldn’t let tears flow out of my eyes anymore.

It scarred us.

 

------

I woke up, feeling down. Brainless. I don’t know If I could go to work, but I went anyways. Took my own time to go to work, and that consumed me.

The taxi driver, whom i’ve met before sent me to the KTM Station.

& I was puffing from there. I couldn’t fight my urge not to.

I was depressed.

 

**SIGH.

 

I do accept the fact that Anna Bella is indeed gone. & I do understand why.

As Promised, She’ll forever be on my shoulder. I WILL BE DOING MY TATTOO.

 

 

AnnaBella Lomoljo. RIP.

13 Sept 2004 – 30 Oct 2010.

I love you till death.