Stolen. Ripped Out of Me.

When all of your plans break down into pieces,
and all of the memories punch your chest till you're out of breath.
And then your energy drains out like your life's being sucked out of you.
You start to shake, your head becomes alight, you can't think right.
In that very saddistic situation, you start feeling like you're actually dying.

Talking. comforting. crying. smoking.
Have all been done. But it seems that nothing's heeling that hole.
And so you just stare fate in the eye with a cig at one hand, polluting your system with toxic.
As if fighting with Fate. Hiting it with your best line.
"No, I won't let you win. I won't let him go. This isn't going to happen to me again."
Soon enough you would find Fate laughing at you.
Yes, Fate won.

So there goes another epiphany.
Another precaution that you plant into yourself.
Trying your best to accepting reality.
Stabbing yourself with sharpened knives telling yourself that it's all going to be alright.
IS IT? AM I GOING TO BE?

I found myself crying again in that dark alley where I used to be..
ages ago.
Like I said, I DON'T WANT ANY REPEATS.
So why did I take the risk to even say Yes.
When I know he can leave me anytime.
Pictures are tearing itself, parting me and him from each other.
Once again, we're individuals... Not conjoined souls.

Yes, I thank God that I have my share of friends.
Where they protect me and comfort me.
Thank you for that. I appreciate the love you all are giving me.

I hoped for love. To be loved. To be happy once more. To be proud. To be touched. To be special. But looked what happened.
Love abused me. love abused my hopes, my dreams.
Batting it with all its might right in front of my face.
Teasing, and challenging me.

Look out, I might disappear into thin air.
Making an applausable prestige, on that stage.
And I hope you would stare with awe.